I recently officiated my older sister’s wedding. After the wedding, my younger sister asked for the part of my script where I spoke about the significance of rings. I don’t have a script; I simply talk about this part. So, I told her I’d write down a few thoughts. I decided to share them with all readers.
In the ceremonies I officiate, I read Scripture, the couple offers vows, there is an exchange of rings, a presentation of the happy couple. And, one thing I always do is talk about the significance of the rings. I left this piece out once at a ceremony for the sake of time, and an old friend, a minister himself, told me about his own words about rings. Much the same, but that talk with him reminded me that I should never leave this part out.
The rings remind of us of several things.
They are made of gold. We consider gold a precious metal as we consider love, commitment, marriage–each other–precious.
Gold is expensive but we gladly offer our hard-earned money for it; in marriage there are costs but we gladly lay aside our own needs to meet the needs of our spouse. I invest in her. She invests in me.
The rings are a perfect circle, never-ending. This reminds us that marriage is a commitment that is supposed to be never-ending. It’s a cycle. We commit our love to one another daily.
Gold is a soft metal; it is malleable. In fact, over time my ring forms to my finger. It becomes bent to the oval shape of my finger. I am reminded to take it off, give it to a jeweler and have the jeweler reshape it back into a perfect circle. This reminds me the marriage isn’t about me; it is about us. The Jeweler I give my marriage to is God–through prayer, reflection, reading Scripture and seeing His love and commitment to me. It reminds me of my commitment to Melanie. My time with God enhances my time with Melanie as it places me in the right mindset of serving her in whatever ways I can to show my love. Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” I suppose, if I love myself enough to care for myself, look out for myself, and seek the best for myself then doing this for Melanie means never hurting her, always seeking what’s best for her, and always staying tuned in to her needs. And, as she does the same then we become more “us” and less “Justin” and “Melanie.” We are “the Cowans.” The loving groom and loving bride walk with each other through her childbearing, bad hair days, cancer, the never-ending needs of others, a lost job, common colds (where we men claim to need a hospital), and the tyranny of the urgent. We climb our mountains and boost each other over the ledges. Then, we walk beside still waters and take in the peaceful meadows.
Our rings get scratched–they need buffed and polished. The diamonds may fall out if the prongs aren’t maintained. This reminds us that a marriage needs maintenance-tender care. Purposeful. Marriage isn’t a series of checklists. We didn’t sign up for a to do list: Did you get the oil changed? Is the laundry finished? Is dinner ready? Are the groceries bought? Is the lawn mowed? Are the kids’ lunches made? Who’s taking little Tyler to practice tonight? Is Cade ready for his rehearsal? To be sure, there is a checklist every day that couples come up against; that couples create! However, this isn’t the reason we married each other. We married each other because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together–every waking (and non-waking) second. We married each other because we loved each other. Let’s ensure we still do. Let’s maintain this love. Date night? Flowers now and then? A hug in the morning? A walk around the block? Wearing that outfit she likes, or he likes? A simple “I love you” and a sideways glance letting each other know we just snuck a peek at the other’s incredible beauty and handsomeness.
In sports the champions get a ring. Marriage is the toughest sport. We get rings at the beginning to remind us we’ve won her. We’ve won him. The contest is over and the rewards begin. Others get to see us wear our rings and show them this is a win-win.
There you go, Sister. Thanks for your request. Maybe these words might help someone in their own marriage.